


Blind Spot

by boxuan



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Death, F/F, Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Love Letters, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxuan/pseuds/boxuan
Summary: Chaeyoung never could have guessed in a million years that Myoui Mina would be the love of her life. She also never could have guessed that they were meant to be from the very beginning, their destinies tangled and twined, crying a devastating song that was written for the two of them only.





	Blind Spot

**Author's Note:**

> Cautious, beautiful and bittersweet. In a world torn apart by war, Chaeyoung finds love.
> 
>  
> 
> Mind the death trigger.

Chaeyoung’s style of writing is usually pretty - accurately and cleanly she writes every character with soft care, slowly so she won’t mess up - but her writing has been portraying her state of mind since she learned how to hold a pen.

So when she starts writing on the note paper meant for Myoui Mina, the letters look sloppy and careless. Her hand scrapes over the expensive paper while writing quickly. Chaeyoung’s mother had bought it for her, and oh, how much Chaeyoung wishes she could have used it for something else, something better, something she has actually fun doing. Instead, she rushes with writing as if the action itself then wouldn’t cling to her mind, but, of course, her thoughts remain.

  
  


“Why do I have to write her?”, she had complained to her mother, whining almost, and her mother had pulled Chaeyoung’s ear. While she pouted, her mum stood up, stepping to the window.

“Our family has been close friends to the Myoui’s for generations now. It’s time for you to meet their heir.”

“Heir”, Chaeyoung had muttered, frowning at the ridiculously dramatic choice of words. “But why do I have to get to know them, anyway? How am I supposed to get close to…”, she tries to remember the name, “this Mina?”

Her mother hushed her with a quick hand gesture, fiddling with a cigarette she had just picked up, a habit Chaeyoung knew she only had with her around. “Hell if I knew, just ask her about her life. Be interested. How did you befriend others in your class?” Chaeyoung lowered her head and finally stayed shut. She didn’t want to walk into a mine field.

She didn’t notice her mother hadn’t answered her first question.

  
  


February 5, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan

Dear Miss Myoui,

good afternoon. If I’m not mistaken, you must have anticipated this letter already. At least, my mother told me so.

If you didn’t, let me introduce myself quickly. I’m Son Chaeyoung, 15 years old, daughter of Son Sanghun and Son Mikyung. I believe our mothers went to boarding school together - she tells me a lot about yours and how they both were in the student council. Are you attending a boarding school in Japan, too?

What do you like to do in your free time? If you don’t understand Korean well, I’ll make sure to use easy words only.

With best wishes

Son Chaeyoung

  
  


Chaeyoung reads over her letter - her cold letter with fake words - and considers it unsympathetic enough to send it.

  
  


“ _Why are you so mean? She will think badly of you.”  
“I don’t care. I don’t like her.”  
“You don’t know her!”  
“I don’t need to know her to be sure that I don’t like her. She must be lazy, inattentive, messy, arrogant-”_

  
  


Chaeyoung lets out an “tsk” sound and slaps her own cheeks, trying to get focused and not to argue with herself. She grabs the letter and an envelope, getting ready to go to the next post office and get Myoui Mina out of her head.

  
  


February 7, 1964. To: Seoul, South Korea

Dear Chaeyoung,

please! Don’t be so formal. I’m solely two years older. Please treat me rather like a companion, not like your governess.

I was in fact waiting for your letter - my mother told me you were going to write. Though I am devastated that you only told me things about you I already knew! So I’m going to tell you a bit about myself. I promise opening up with me is safe. I may not be good at socializing, but I believe I am at keeping a secret or two.

I am Mina, but you already knew that. I’m not in my school’s student council, but I enjoy ballet and the arts. I love going to museums, do you? Art truly fascinates me, though I don’t quite succeed at it myself.

  
  


I guess that explains about my free time. And my father started to talk to me in Korean when I was still in diapers, so please don’t hesitate to speak your thoughts freely.

What about you - what kind of hobbies do you have? Are you participating in any clubs?

Kindest regards  
Mina

P.S.: The way you write is very pretty. I’m so envious! Can you teach me how to develop an hand writing like yours?

  
  


Chaeyoung accidentally crumbles the edges of Mina’s letter, but makes sure to straighten them right away once she notices. Mina used light blue paper, with hand drawn lines. Chaeyoung doesn’t hold it close to her face but the smell of roses invades her mind, anyway.

Despite her rude, almost crossing-the-line words Mina maintained an calm, lovely attitude. Or is it a facade? Does she dislike Chaeyoung as much as Chaeyoung wants to dislike her?

Chaeyoung was determined to hate her from the start, but much likely to a child who refuses to go with the stranger until they offer candies, her firmness fades quickly.

  
  


_She likes the arts._

  
  


Chaeyoung had rarely met someone who shares her passion. As a child, her parents gave her thin smiles when she told them that she was going to become an artist and patted her head as if to say: “Sure, honey. Just you wait.”

But they were the ones to wait. Chaeyoung’s choice stood and now, as a teenager, her parents - and everyone else - didn’t hide their disgust.

The war had taken that from her life, Chaeyoung sometimes thought. Sure, there were artists that compressed their emotions and pressed it onto the canvas, which resulted to bland, dark paintings - but she didn’t want to be that kind of artist. She wanted to inspire, to make people think, make them _happy_.

They all needed a bit of sunshine after the war - it left the country in shambles and its markets as well.

Sure, Chaeyoung thought, bouncing her leg under the desk, _Mina_ could afford looking at art for fun. Chaeyoung couldn’t, she wasn’t even allowed to do what she wanted to do most.

  
  


Suddenly, it felt like another good reason to dislike Mina. (She deliberately ignored the fact that it, beside childish stubbornness, was the first actual reason to.)

  
  


The following days, she kept the letter on her desk, but after feeling its gaze burning at her constantly, it was banned to a drawer with old socks in it.

But because her good manners forbid her to not answer - and because her mother kept asking her about Mina and Chaeyoung has never been a good liar -, she dips her pen into her most expensive ink, sighs, and starts writing once again.

  
  


February 13, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan

Dear Myoui Mina,

I understand. I will make sure not to address you formally. I am sorry.

  
  


(Chaeyoung grimaces at herself. She isn’t used to being this stiff.)

  
  


I am also sorry for answering late. School has just started, but I am busier than ever.

As for me, I certainly would like to visit museums, but there aren’t much left here.

Ironically enough, I’m an artist. I draw in every moment possible. Sometimes we can’t afford paper, so I usually doodle on my walls. They’re almost full, though, so maybe I have to paint them blank next year. Drawing animals is fun, but I enjoy drawing portraits the most. Observing made me attentive to those around me.

  
  


(Chaeyoung is now writing rapidly, spilling the words before she could hesitate. She stares at the shining ink, not even dry yet. Was it wise to tell Mina all of this? Then, again, whom else could she tell? When she finishes the letter she still doesn’t know if she wanted to tell about the things she loves so badly or if she slowly starts to like Myoui Mina.)

  
  


Do you have a pet? You seem very ladylike, a cat would fit you well. Or don’t you like animals?

See you soon,

Son Chaeyoung

  
  


Chaeyoung does in fact notice that her owns words have warmed up. She just doesn’t really care, for it doesn’t matter. Mina is a stranger, a mere acquaintance, it’s just her own way of being polite. Right?

Chaeyoung is somehow stuck between her very dialectical opinion on Myoui Mina. She’s supposed to be the arrogant, unlikeable, obnoxious ass she had pictured in her head. Sadly, she turned out to be more like the gentle, kind, stunning kind of woman Chaeyoung wants to be.

But Chaeyoung isn’t ready to give up her outstandingly wrong image of Myoui Mina - not yet, anyway.

This is why she’s still trying to act cold when her mother hands her Mina’s answer to her letter a few days later, despite her heart bouncing in her chest.

  
  


February 16, 1964. To: Seoul, South Korea

Dear Chaeyoung,

That’s more than alright! Your education is important to me, after all. I wouldn’t want it to suffer because of me.

  
  


You’re an artist? That must be really amazing. I’d love to see your works one day! I’m sure you’re very skilled. Or talented, but either way, I’m stunned. Who do you draw? What’s your style? Please tell me a lot about it if you don’t mind, art is way too interesting to not talk about it.

  
  


Unfortunately, I don’t have a pet, my parents never allowed me one. But I love dogs, a lot, actually. I’d love to have one one day. What about you? You appear like a dog person to me, but maybe that’s just imagination. Any way, don’t hesitate to tell me!

Best regards  
Mina

P.S.: An idea crossed my mind earlier when I read your letter - what do you think about playing twenty questions? That way, we can get to know each other more closely and effectively. (Besides those facts, I’d love to know more about you, it’s why I make this suggestion very selfishly. I hope you can forgive me for that.)

  
  


Chaeyoung bites on her lip when she finishes the letter, carefully caressing the paper as if it was Mina herself. The first time ever, someone is interested in her. In what she does, in what she loves, to the point where they confess to want to get closer.

  
  


Maybe Mina’s not that bad.

  
  


February 20, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

Dear Mina,

Please, you couldn’t bring down my grades if you tried. They’re excellent. (Just so you know, that’s a joke. Please don’t try. But I’m trying my best!)

  
  


I think, I mostly draw myself. Not because I’m pretentious or anything, but I’m solely the person I’m around most of the time. I could draw my mother as well, but she’s not what one would call supportive, so I’m stuck with myself, I guess. I like to draw with thick lines and bright colors, not necessarily something realistic. I think as long as it looks pleasing, I’ll draw anything. It’s why I have seagulls, furniture, faces, rainbows and eyes on my walls. Rough and sensual styles are great, but I try my best to go for a detailed and soft one.

  
  


I am, in fact, a dog person! We used to have a dog, a German Shepherd, but we had to give her away because we couldn’t afford to have her anymore when the war got worse, so I actually only had her for a few months after my birth. The preferences for dogs, stayed, though. My chest kind of gets warm whenever I see one.

  
  


The game sounds really fun! If I may start, what’s your favorite subject? Boring question, I know, but it’s the basics, right? Mine is English. I don’t have art class at the moment because the government said it’s unnecessarily wasting resources, so I’ve put everything into my English studies. It’s a wonderful language, but I’m still not good at it, at least not as good as I want to be. And you?

Chaeyoung

  
  


She reads through her letter and blushes against her will ; it has gotten way longer than she thought it would be. Chaeyoung hopes Mina won’t mind - or worse, think of her as a an overly exciting child that overshares after a handful of letters.

  
  


“Are you getting along with Mina?”, her mother asks her when they’re at the dining table, and Chaeyoung flushes once again. “Yes, I think so”, she mumbles. Her mother watches her closely.

“Are you telling me this to please me or do you actually mean it?”

“What?”, Chaeyoung splutters, and her mum goes “It’s ‘Excuse me’, Chaeyoung” immediately.

“Yes, I’m sorry.” She ducks her head. “No, I think we might become friends in the future.”

Her mother exhales and nods slowly. (Chaeyoung’s confused - wasn’t she supposed to be friends with Mina? What did she do wrong? Any way, she just drops the topic by asking her mother about the plants she had planted earlier.)

  
  


February 28, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.  
Dear Chaeyoung,  
Now I’m the one to apologize - it’s been some time since I lastly wrote you. My grades have yet to improve, so I studied a lot in these past days. I’ll promise to better myself.  
The more you describe your art, the more I seem to get drawn in (get it?). Any day, if you’re looking for support, don’t hesitate to write me, I’ll try my best to cheer you up. It’d be a shame if you wouldn’t become a professional one day.

  
  


German shepherds! I love them. It’s sad you can’t remember yours. Do you think you would like to get another one? One day, when the war is over, I mean.

Do you think it’ll end soon? After all, Korea is short on resources and the USA keeps getting ones from Japan. (I hope you don’t mind me saying this. It is a sensitive topic after all.)

  
  


My favorite subject’s probably math - it’s simple once you’ve understood it, the required technique remains the same, there’s a pattern you need to follow. There’s no need for planning, to be innovative, because the way’s already existing. You just need to find it.

See you soon  
Mina

  
  


March 4, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.  
Dear Mina,  
don’t worry about that! It’s fine, really. Just write when you have time, that’s completely enough. I don’t want to burden you more stress than you already have. (Aren’t you in your last year? That must be tough. Anyhow, cheer up! You can do it, I’m sure.)

  
  


The war… to be honest, I’m not even sure how it started. My parents won’t tell me, no matter how many times I ask, and school only teaches us to be proud of our nation and to fight against the “obnoxious, bad” Americans. For whatever they did.

So I’m not entirely sure how I stand to it - will it ever end? Will we, both of us, still stand when it eventually does? I don’t know. But when - if - it does end, the second thing I’m doing is getting a dog.

(First is buying expensive art supplies. You only live once, right?)

  
  


I have to admit, I’ve never thought about math that way before, maybe because I really, really, really dislike it, but the way you put it, it almost sounds useful. (I’m kidding, don’t worry.)

  
  


How are you these days? Tomorrow it has been a whole month since we started exchanging letters, can you believe it? Time is running fast, it seems. How’s spring in Japan? I’ve heard of cherry blossoms, but never had a chance to see them on a picture. Are they’re pretty?

Please write back soon

Chaeng

P.S.: I’ve just noticed that it was my turn to ask, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot! Please tell me about your favorite color next if you don’t mind.

Mine’s blue, I think, light for good days and dark for not-so-good ones. It’s a color that’s always aware, don’t you think? Similar to the sky, always guarding us. It’s very calming or very upsetting, just with a different shade.

  
  


March 9, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Dear Chaeng (that sounds so cute, I hope you don’t mind me calling you this),

I won’t lie to you - neither do I. Know about the war, I mean. I do have my theories, but I will remain silent until there’s facts. It really has been going on for some time, yes? But we will figure it out, I’m sure of it.

  
  


Oh, the cherry blossoms are beautiful as always. I wish you’d be around to see them. I’m sure you’d be stunned, especially when there’s a dark blue sky bending over a sea of pink petals.

One day I could show you, maybe. I wouldn’t want you to miss this.

  
  


I haven’t thought about my favorite color - every color is pretty in its own way -, but if I had to choose, I’d take purple. Or indigo. They’re dark, but with potential to be great. Pretty, but in a twisted way. Do you like purple? I think it would suit you a lot.

  
  


Next question! Do you have a favorite music genre? I’m not that into music myself, but I can imagine that you are.

Lots of love

Minari

P.S.: That’s a nickname a friend gave to me. Please don’t think I decided to call myself that.

  
  


Chaeyoung can’t suppress a chuckle when reading, especially during the end. Minari. The name goes down her throat like honey, it’s sugary taste lingering on her tongue.

She has to admit that she has grown fond - incredibly fond - of Mina. She has this feeling in her chest when she sees that a letter from her has arrived, a feeling she can’t tell anyone about. (She doesn’t has friends - besides Mina -, and her mother seems, for any reason, to have turned unsatisfied at their friendship. Chaeyoung still wonders why. Maybe, one day, she’s going to find out.)

  
  


March 14, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

Dear Minari (sweet, by the way, say thanks from me to the friend who called you this)!

You’re right. Worrying won’t bring us anywhere, anyway, so there’s no use in that. One day it’ll be over and things will turn better.

  
  


Showing me? That would be great, no, amazing. I try to hold onto goals in the future, you see, and I think this might be the next one. (The one before was getting art supplies.)

  
  


Are you calling me dark when saying purple would fit me…? I’m kidding. The way you described it does sound very pretty, though. I’ve heard that purple was originally for royals as it used to be a very expensive color - so I believe it fits you way more. Also because you said it’s pretty, and you’re pretty as well. (I know, I know, I haven’t seen you, but I just know. They way you write and say things, it tells me all I need to know.)

  
  


Music! I’m glad you asked. It’s not a genre, but melancholic, poetic songs really get to me these days.

They make me think about life a bit more in depth. I think it’s something we all should too. What do you mean, not into music? How can one _not_ be into music? I’m shocked, Mina. You should listen to some of my favorite songs some time.

  
  


It’s my turn, right? So, hm…. ah, do you play any instruments? I can imagine you play something fancy, the piano or a violin or something like that. So, do you? (Of course _I_ don’t, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I think it would’ve suited me.)

Lots of Love

Chaeng

P.S.: I’m sorry that this is written on a blank piece of paper, I’ve run out of fancy stationery. We had to save some stuff this month.

  
  


March 18, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Dear Chaengie,

Pretty, you say… I’m sorry, that’s the first thing I have to reply to - because here I am, on my desk, flustered and blushing because of a simple compliment. Thank you a lot. (I bet you’re _gorgeous_. My mother described your mother a lot, if you look a little bit like her, I already have a pretty good picture of you. Any way, you must be beautiful.)

  
  


Your positive attitude is truly brave. It doesn’t surprise me - it comes from you, after all, I think you would still believe in the sun in complete darkness -, but it’s courageous, nonetheless. We should all believe that it’ll turn to the better. Thank you for your encouraging words, I’ll make sure to remember them. In times like these, everyone should make sure to. Especially you. It’d be a shame if you lost your pretty, shining light.

  
  


Music is just not quite my cup of tea, I suppose ; but for your sake, I’ll listen to some of your favorite songs. That genre you picked as your most loved seems wonderful.

So I’ve never learned any instruments as well. If I had to pick, though, I’d choose the guitar as well, I think. Or the cello. Or maybe the flute. I truly don’t know, I’m sorry.

  
  


You’re right! The guitar would suit you very well. One day I’ll get you one, then you can listen to your favorite songs all day long by playing them yourself.

Guitars are kind of chic, right? In the same time, incredibly relaxing, gentle, maybe. That does sound like you.

(I hope you don’t feel suffocated by me talking about you like I’ve known you forever, but the thing is, I do. I feel like I truly have been knowing you for years, despite it being only a handful of weeks. I hope I can be as open to you as you are to me so you can feel mutually about me.)

  
  


Let me ask you one thing, Chaeyoung - if you could do one thing, really anything, what would it be?

I think I would go back in time. Give myself advice I only know now I needed, work a bit harder. Do the same mistakes all over again because you still need to learn from those, right? Even with the ability to mess with anything, you should do your mistakes.

And you?

Lots of love

Minaring

  
  


March 22, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

Dear Minaring,

Believe me, I’m not. I’m not as elegant as you are, not as tall and mature as my mother, I’m just… me, I guess. Short hair and moles on my face and a tiny body. (I haven’t grown in about ten years.)

Anyway - I’m embarrassed about your descriptions of me, I’m deeply afraid I can’t live up to your expectations. I’ll try my best to, though, for your sake. (See what I did there? I want to do things for you, too.)

  
  


I’ve written you a short list of songs on a handkerchief, I hope you’ll like them. And even if you don’t, still write to me about them! I want to know why you don’t. I want to see you as clear as you see me.

  
  


One thing, huh? You’d think I’d have to chose between a dozen things, but, weirdly enough, I don’t know a single one.

Maybe bring peace to the world. Not sure how that one would work, though. But that would fix a lot of our problems as well, right? Obviously.

If it was solely for me, though… I think I’d wish to travel back in time, too. Enjoy the time left with someone. Appreciate the little things you ignored back then.

Mistakes should remain mistakes, however, just like you said. We’re not perfect - no one is -, but we shouldn’t mess with that and try to be. Just let our mistakes be and try to be better than that, right?

  
  


Where would you go if you could go anywhere? I think I’d prefer a nice, small island all to myself over anything right now. Just relaxing, not having to worry about anything… ah, but I’d like you to have you over, though. Otherwise I’ll be bored to death in a few days, probably.

Lots of love,

Chaeyoung-ah

P.S.: Since I don’t know when this letter will arrive - happy early birthday! Surprised I knew? My mother has told me about it. Would have sent you something with it, but, you know…. we don’t have anything from value here, anyway. But I drew you something on the envelope, did you notice? It’s, uh, turned out kind of ugly but I hope you like it.

It’s breakfast, pancakes and orange juice and sausages. It hasn’t really got anything to do with you, like, at all, but maybe you can look at that picture when you’re sad or, hm, hungry, maybe. (I’ll be frank with you, this is highly embarrassing to me and I’d love to tear up this part of the letter, but I really cannot allow myself to do that when our resources are this short.)

Happy birthday, Minari. Have a great one.

  
  


March 26, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.  
Dear Chaeyoung-ah (that’s a really nice one),

It really hurts my heart to hear you talk this lowly about yourself, even more when you can this highly about my own mere presence. You’re short? So what! Screw being tall! Short hair is awesome and, besides that, so, so, so convenient. And I’m sure you rock it.

And moles can be cute! I have lots of them as well, the most appearing one on my nose. Do you have one, too?

My point is - you’re pretty. Insanely. I just know. (By the way you write - you remember these lines, don’t you? They refer to you as well.)

Don’t just believe in your beauty, embrace it also. Be pretty by being yourself, Son Chaeyoung.  
  
  


Judging by what we want, we must be deadly alike, Chaeng. And I’m not going to lie - I kind of knew that already.

Is that weird? Knowing that you’re somewhat a nicer, funnier and sweeter version of myself? Probably. (I hope not.)

Maybe the universe has meant to put us together. I believe in those theories, you see - destiny, plans, soulmates.

Now I get what you mean about embarrassment, but I won’t cross the lines I just wrote. They’re true, after all.

  
  


Having said that… visiting all of the world seems nice. I know that it’s not an option, but how could I possibly choose? There’s so many amazing places on earth. There’s dozens of cultures and different kind of weathers and so many languages and people.

But maybe I should start with South-Korea, don’t you think? A language I already speak and someone I already know.

  
  


Thank you for the very sweet birthday message! 18 already, I can’t believe it… time really does run fast. And thank you also for the gorgeous drawing! I pinned it onto my wall so I can look at it every night before sleeping. (By the way, I have dreamed about you before, have I told you about that? It was messy, like every dream of mine is, but nice nonetheless. Of course, I don’t know what you look like, so your figure was more like a blurry shadow, but I knew it was you and that was all that counted.)

  
  


Dear Chaeyoung, what would be your dream job? With your artistic roots, I can almost tell, but I want to hear it from you.

If it was a proper job, I’d love to dance. I dance ballet - I believe I had told you that in the first letter I sent -, it’s my ultimate passion. I could just dance all day long and be happy, even though it’s hard.

What about you?

Lots of Love

Minaring

  
  


Chaeyoung has found a gentle, gorgeous, genuine friend whom she admires and adores and she’s happy. She has had friends before - one friend -, but she wasn’t anything like Mina. (Not worse, nor better, just different.)

Mina is funny, kind of, or maybe Chaeyoung just smiles instantly when she reads her letters because, well, _it’s Mina._

Mina’s great. She’s got the same mind, the same track of thoughts and dreams as Chaeyoung - the thing she said about soulmates? Chaeyoung doesn’t know if she’d imagined it, but it felt about them.

  
  


Everything does.

  
  


The rare, simple beauties she sees on her way to school - a single flower in a pile of trash, graffiti on a rotting house, the sun shining through thick clouds, shining onto her. It’s all Mina.

Chaeyoung has only been in love once - has had a crush once, is more true -, but it feels like the term love fits perfectly well with Mina.

Sure, she hasn’t seen Mina before ; but isn’t this the better way to get to know someone, anyway?

Without superficial judgments, but rather with seeing someone’s true self, their true core.

  
  


Chaeyoung is sure that Mina’s the one. (For what, she isn’t sure about that yet. But, for now, truly the one to be her best friend.)

  
  


April 24, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Dear Chaeyoung,

I’m breaking the unspoken rule of not writing twice in a row, but it has been a month or so, and it’s your birthday today, so…

Happy birthday. Is everything alright? I understand if you don’t have the time to write me as frequently as you used to, but please tell me if that’s the case.

Oh, I must probably sound crazily selfish and obsessive…. I’m sorry. I’m just so worried about your well-being.

Besides that - happy birthday!! Happy birthday. Happy birthday. I hope that when I say it often enough, it’ll happen just like that.

Please have a good birthday. Sixteen years old, wow… that’s a great age, you better keep that to your heart. It’s gone in a second.

I sent you a check, and before you rip it up because you don’t want to receive it - please use it for something you want. Art supplies, other people’s art, food, whatever - as long as you want it. You deserve a small luxury for you.

  
  


I wish I could do that the whole time, you know - send you money so I know you can have a better life over there, over the sea, even if it’s just a little bit less worse.

One day I’ll buy lots of things - flowers, colors, I’ll get you the stars on the sky myself if you want them. Honestly, Son Chaeyoung, you deserve everything. I hope on this day, you know that.

  
  


I suppose I have to continue with our twenty asks, right? Oh, no, you haven’t answered yet. See, this is what happens when you don’t answer! Our schedule! (I’m just kidding. Take your time.)

Hope to see you soon and lots of love,

Mina

  
  


April 29, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

I am so sorry!!

Really, I’ve meant to write you for weeks now, but I honestly never got around to it. I am so, so sorry, Mina. Words won’t be enough for an apology, but I’ll try my best so you’ll forgive me. (You have no idea _how_ sorry I am. I spent the last weeks thinking only about you, about talking with you, having another letter of yours in my hands. I am so sorry.)

  
  


This unspoken rule doesn’t apply to you, you know - you can write me as often as you want. You shouldn’t _have to_ , of course, I’ll make sure to write you even when I’m busy. ( _You_ don’t have to! I’m not a point on a schedule for you, just make time whenever you can. Don’t feel forced to anything, I wouldn’t want that, alright!)

  
  


I had lots of exams, lots of work these days. Came home in the evening and often went straight into bed. I got a part time job! At an animal ambulance. ‘Course, I’m not doing “real” work, I’m just assisting when there’s dogs or cats to hold. But it’s something and I can earn a little bit money with it.

(I’ve bought new stationery, did you notice? It feels so nice writing on it!).

I hope you know, nonetheless, that I thought a lot about you. I couldn’t forget you one second. Ah, how embarrassing…. I should scratch that, huh? But maybe you want my pure thoughts, unchanged, on blank paper. So if you do, here are they.

  
  


Thank you so much for the kind birthday wishes! Sixteen, that’s right, what kind of age… I hope it’ll be a good year for not only me, but you as well. And my family.

The check…. I almost fell of my chair when reading the amount of money you’re giving me. I don’t even deserve all those digits. Are you sure it’s not too much?

I’ve decided to save it. Maybe double it one day and then put it into something grand - college, a flat, something for you. It’s your money, after all, I’d love to give you a nice present someday. (Something of actual worth, not like the silly drawing I did for you on your birthday. I know you said it’s something for me, but I’m really bad at granting things myself.)

  
  


My dream job would be - just like said - something with art. Artist, designer, model, dancer, singer, anything. Not that I’ve got the required skills for any but the artist part, but I’d love to learn. Maybe you could dance and I could draw you dancing? And we’d make a lot, a hell of money. (Sorry. Language, I know.)

  
  


I know we practically talked about this, but - hobbies? I basically draw all day, when I’m able to, at least, but maybe you’re a bit less boring than me.

See you soon!

Lots of Love

Chaeyoung

P.S.: Thank you a lot for saying I’m deserving. I mean it. Thank you.

  
  


May 2, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Don’t apologize! It’s more than alright. I guess I was just a bit freaked out - with all the physical distance between us, it’s sometimes hard to stay calm, you know? Even though I’m a very calm person usually. I guess you shake that part of me up. (Not in a bad way.)

  
  


An animal ambulance? That’s amazing! I bet you’re great with animals. Do you feel good about earning your own money? A year ago I helped in a local cinema, and it felt great to finally have my first paycheck in my hands. You’re proud, aren’t you? You should be!

The rule doesn’t apply to you either, please remember that. More words make me more happy - and a happier me is good because then I can do my very best to make you happier, too. And isn’t that what we both want?

Please! Buy something for yourself, Son Chaeyoung! I almost scoffed when reading that part, and I never scoff. It’s _your_ money. Do something for yourself once. I’m begging you.

  
  


Hobbies? I guess I don’t have much of those. But as I said, I enjoy going to museums and dancing, occasionally reading as well. My eyes are not the best, though, so I try to tone it down a bit. My mother used to read a lot of stories for me when I was younger, but she doesn’t have a lot of time now. If she _does_ have time, she often tells me stories from her boarding school from when she was with your mother. Does your mum tell you a lot about that?

  
  


Tell me a bit about your childhood. What were your hobbies then? Friends, memories, things you loved? Stuffed animals, maybe?

About me… well, I don’t think I’ll be able to remember a lot of it. Do you know that feeling when someone asks you a question and your mind just goes blank? That’s what’s happening with my head right now. And that’s even though I had the time to properly think about my answer. (I don’t want to, you know? Abandon the letter on my desk and leave to think. I don’t want you to hear my most ordered, prettiest thoughts, I want to tell you the real ones. Just like in a conversation.)

I danced ballet a lot as a kid. I completely focused on it, and I met my two friends through that, even though they were - still are - more into different kinds of dances. Momo’s great at hip hop, and Sana is just good at everything.

I remember dancing with them in the rain so much we caught colds every month, that was fun. Sure, we don’t do that these days, we’ve grown older. But it’s so nice. You should try it some time. (Or maybe don’t, because of the colds. Believe me, you’ll get them.)

I was really into doctoring as well. I’ve always put band-aids on my parents´ arms and even carried a stethoscope with my all the time. Also checked everyone’s pulse and stuff. To think about it is a bit embarrassing but you deserve to know, I think. Then again, nothing wrong with wanting to help people, right?

I gasped a bit when I read your lines about helping the vet because I’ve been thinking about that as well. Helping out at a shelter, doing charity, anything. Maybe that’s my real dream, just to help people.

Do justice. Do good.

Oh, I’ve really gotten off the topic. I’m sorry. I think I wrote enough for you to read and it’s already pretty late, so I’ll just cut it here.

Lots and lots of love

Minari

  
  


May 7, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

I’m bad at denying you things, Myoui Mina, but I will not buy something for myself. Not in that sense and not that soon. You can stop with trying to make me change my mind because it won’t work. But thank you for trying.

  
  


My mum doesn’t talk a lot about your mother, I’m sorry…. but if it makes you feel better, she doesn’t talk to me that much, anyway.

  
  


I had one friend when I was young, but she’s not in South-Korea anymore. One days I’ll tell you about her. I can’t now because as much as I loved her, you wanted to hear about my childhood, right?

Memories… I think the war has hauled all those away. Pretty much, at least. I don’t think it was a happy time, for neither me nor my family, so I’m rather glad it’s over, actually.

  
  


Momo and Sana, you say? Whenever you talk about dancing, I have a certain scenery in my mind, which is weird, because I’ve never seen you nor actual professional dancing. But it must be beautiful, just like you. One day we could dance in the rain together! I’d accidentally step onto your feet a lot, probably, but maybe you could teach me? I think I want to have that first time with you only. If I did it alone, well… maybe my mother would tell me to see a doctor. With you it must be magical, though.

  
  


You’re a good person, you know that? Maybe the best. I’m pretty confident you’re one of the bests.

That genuine interest in helping people? Keep that. It’s what makes you so beautiful.

  
  


So was that your childhood dream? To become a doctor? If you still wanted that, I’d support you fully, just so you know. My own was - big surprise - being an artist. But becoming a vet was also always a part of the plan. Animals are just the best in what’s left of the good in this world. I guess I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted. That’s okay, though, right? After all, I was still young.

Lots of more of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


Chaeyoung reads through her letter, and if it wasn’t for expensive stationery, she’d have ripped it up.

How boring, how emotional, how sad and bitter and disappointing. Mina wouldn’t like to read this, no one would, she’s just being the usual partypooper she is.

She sends it anyway.

  
  


May 18, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Chaeyoung, are you okay?

Your tone has shifted in your last letter. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but at least that’s the way it sounded to me.

If you have anything on your heart, anything that bothers you, if you want to vent, please tell me. I’ll do my very best to make you happier. And you said I’m one of the bests, right? For you, I want to be.

When I’m sad, I cry a lot. Does that help you? Letting tears fall and get stronger afterward? I think it’s great for relieving stress. Or you could listen to some music.

Are you angry? Or just empty? I know both feelings too well. One usually follows the other, doesn’t it?

But it’ll pass with time, just remember that. Do your best to get through it and shine even brighter. I wouldn’t want your light to be dimmed. Even then, you’d still outshine everyone else, but you should do it your way. And your way is a good, a pure one. Keep it.

Whenever you want to talk about your friend, I’ll be waiting for you, I promise. And I’ll dance with you in the rain, a hundred times!

  
  


Maybe you could become a vet and an artist at the same time. You know, treat animals in the morning and draw in the evening. I’ve read a study that one is more creative in the nighttime, is that true for you as well? It would fit perfectly. Then you could paint the paintings for your clinic, and everyone anxiously waiting for their pets would be calmed by their beauty.

  
  


You’re right! I did want to be a doctor, but that dream faded eventually. I’m not sure if I still have the appropriate passion for it, you know? Doctors or surgeons are amazing people, I’m not sure if I’m cut for that. But being a dancer is amazing as well, so I’m not one to complain. (Of course I’m not doing any of those. But I’d chose dancing, I believe. I can still help others in my free time, as a hobby, basically. It doesn’t have to be saving lives, making them a bit better is enough.)

So I think my goal right now is to become a dancer. Maybe. That’s the dream, of course. It’ll be always the dream. And yours? What’s your most recent goal, a thing you want to achieve?

Lots of love

Mina

  
  


Chaeyoung thinks she might love Myoui Mina, because, what’s not to love about this girl? She knows her, and, what’s even better, she _understands._ Understands her love to art and her heart. And she still writes her. It’s unbelievable. She’s the first one Chaeyoung genuinely likes since-

Nevermind.

  
  


May 26, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

Mina, you’re an angel. Thank you so much. I did all of those and felt better immediately. Or maybe I did because it was you who cheered me up. I really appreciate you, you know that? You’re one of the things I keep looking forwards to. Reading your letter is my personal highlight of the week. I hope you feel the same about mine.

  
  


I look forward to it. The dancing, I mean. I hope you’re not saying this without meaning it, because I _do_ mean it. But you’re not the person to sugarcoat, right? I’ve been knowing you for some time know - almost three months -, but like we both said, it has been so much longer. A lifetime.

That must be scaring you, right? I’m sorry. It sounds like knowing me has got to be some kind of life commitment. I didn’t mean it like that.

But you’re something I’ve missed until this point of my life.

Picturing the future with you seems so easy, so light when the future itself really isn’t. Not here, anyway. I mean, I get - Japan can afford to supply the USA with resources, the USA can afford to still fight South-Korea after years of war, but we can’t anymore. Maybe I’ll have to go to some other country eventually. There I’ll be able to have that future you’ve drawn for me.

(In hindsight, I should have studied English harder. Not sure how far I’m getting with Korean and a South-Korean citizenship.)

  
  


Right now, I just want to become better, I think. Better at art and better at English and better friends with you. That’s my top priority. And, of course, I just want to be an professional artist.

  
  


What about your family, by the way? I think that’s one of the most basic questions, but we haven’t quite cleared that one. Do you have siblings? I have an older brother, but he moved out recently, and I haven’t seen him since that. He wants to be a politician. Good for him, that might be the only safe job in this age.

Lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


June 3, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

It’s nothing, really! Also, don’t worry. I’m an honest person, at least I want to be. My words are genuine and my intentions are as well.

I feel the same way about you - the commitment thing that’s not really a commitment thing. Maybe we’re like a memory that was left behind, only to be picked up and cared about years later? With a nostalgic feeling we could easily be, don’t you think? A puzzle that’s finally solved after abandoning it for a long time.

Those examples sound bad, don’t they… ? I don’t mean it like that, I swear. You and I, what we have, it’s good. It’s wholesome and I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

  
  


You could come to Japan! Japanese isn’t that hard once you’ve gotten the gist of it and the people here are really tolerant as well, we barely notice the war as such. We don’t feel exactly involved in it. You’d be welcomed with open arms, especially if you had confidantes here.

I have an older brother as well! We’re not close, though. There’s not much to say about him… he used to annoy me a lot when we were younger, now we barely see each other, he hasn’t moved out yet, though. I think I’ll be the first one to do that.

  
  


Do you have any fears? I’m deeply terrified of spiders, but also of heights and death. Who isn’t, though, right?

I believe in past lives and stuff like that. It comforts me a lot. To think there’s not an end.

  
  


What about you? I bet you’re one of those people that can easily take bugs out, like catch them and put them outside. I can’t do that. I’m too scared to even touch them.

Lots of love

Mina

  
  


Chaeyoung knows she said Mina’s not one to sugarcoat, but she’s digging her sweet words nonetheless.

  
  


_You and I, what we have, it’s good. I wouldn’t miss it for anything._

  
  


She likes to think about Mina as a lover, because wouldn’t she be the perfect girlfriend? Mina would bring one breakfast in bed, be shy when sharing kisses, cover her mouth when giggling about a joke her significant other made.

At least, that’s what Chaeyoung thinks. Anyone who was granted Myoui Mina as a partner must be spoiled around the clock.

  
  


June 14, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

Ah, fears. I’m afraid of a lot things, so if you’re reading this letter standing, better sit down, because this is going to be a long one.

First - public speaking. I have these nightmares often, you know, those where you’re in front of a massive crowd and you can’t talk and they start booing and it’s horrible? Yeah. I think that’s linked to this fear.

Second - heights. Scary. So, so scary. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to jump onto a plain and leave somewhere because flying? Dear god, _no_.

Third - the dark. I try to sleep with lights on whenever I can. It’s better when I’m not alone, though.  
4\. Needles. Gross. Terrifying. Please don’t get anywhere near to me with those. I’m shivering just at the very thought of them.

  
  


This…. isn’t as long as I thought, but if I would try to dig for more, I’d probably find a handful more.

But I agree with your concept, you know? Designing this friendship like a real one. Not that’s it not real. But writing letters….. I don’t know anyone who met like that. Maybe we’re the first. Well, we’re not, obviously, but I’m pretty sure we’re the first to be like this. You know?

Friendships like this can be forgotten in the future, but ours won’t be erased. Because, imagine in a hundred years someone will find those letters, and by reading they’ll know us just like we know each other. Everything is recorded.

That’s weird, right? I don’t want anyone to find them, to be honest. They’re all ours and I think they should remain just for the two of us.  
  
  


Can I ask you about your first love? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend, maybe?

I haven’t had a first love yet, but a first crush. I’ve told you about her, right? When I was about 13 years old, she was still in South-Korea. I was madly in love with her, because she was pretty and charming and older than me and super funny. We had the exact same humor, it was amazing.

Anyway, I never made a move, and I don’t think she ever thought of me that way, but since it was just a silly crush, I’m over her now. I really did think I loved her, but not anymore. Not romantically.

And you? Do you have someone special?

Lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


June 22, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.  
Chaeyoung, this list only makes me want to fly over to South-Korea and protect you from all of those things. Honestly. I’ll speak for you if you’d like, I’ll hold your hand and secure you in heights, I’ll be your light in the darkness. And you can squeeze my hand really hard when you’re getting an injection. I can’t save you from that, I’m afraid.

This sounds almost like were exclusive. Maybe we could be. Because some things are just exclusively ours, don’t you think? Writing letters. Drawing futures. Rare beauties.

So I hope I don’t sound possessive when saying this, but please don’t ever write someone else a letter when I’m still around. (I’m kidding, but only with half of my heart. I really mean that. Letters are yours and my thing.)

  
  


I’ve never been in love before. Am I missing out? I’ve never been romantically interested in anybody, not in boys nor in girls.

  
  


She sounds amazing. I’m glad you had found her. She must have been really special to you.

  
  


So, no - I’m not in a relationship right now. Fortunately, my parents are not one to ask me about that. Am I right when I say that you don’t have an actual love, as in right now? I don’t (duh). If you’re crushing on someone, I’d love to know.

Take care and lots of love

Mina

  
  


June 29, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

That’s…. very sweet, you know that? You’re very sweet. And kind. I’ll hold your hand gladly. And even if I don’t like them either, I’ll take out the bugs. Just for you. Someone else might have not gotten this chance, just so you know!

I’d like to have exclusive stuff. Believe me, I think about you only when writing anything at this point. I’m doodling in class or having a test and you pass my thoughts. It’s horrible, really, I can’t concentrate at all. You owe me one. (Just kidding. But it really is distracting.)

  
  


As far as I can tell, you’re absolutely not missing out on anything. At least not with a crush. Maybe being in an actual relationship is better, but I just remember the occasional pain in your chest when remembering you two won’t be a thing. You’re good.

  
  


Then, if not a blooming love, who’s the most important person in your life right now? I think, for me, it’s you. You’re my best friend, right? At least that’s how I feel. Please don’t be embarrassed or, worse, disgusted by this confession. But you’re important to me. I look forward to seeing (reading?) you every day, and reading your letter is - like I said sometime before - my highlight of the week.

  
  


So you’re my most important person, Myoui Mina. I hope you’re fine with that.

  
  


Take care of yourself, and lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


July 5, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

 _You’re_ sweet, not me. You’re almost candy. Or sugar. I might spoil my taste with you, Son Chaeyoung.

  
  


I think about you a lot, too. On the most random things, like seeing the stars, when the sun dips buildings in soft light, bright flowers. Blue things because that’s your favorite color. Believe me when I’m saying you’re running in my mind all day.

  
  


Reading about your former crush… I can feel the pain in my heart you talked about. It hurts me to see you were hurting, it really does. Whenever you get hurt, I’ll make sure to heal you again.

  
  


Please say this a thousand times again. Best friend. It might be a song in my head, the words sound too wonderful. You’re the most important person, Son Chaeyoung. You’re the most important.

I could swear I’m soaring right now, and only because of a few words of yours. You have got some power about me, Chaeng. So I’m absolutely fine with being your favorite person. You’re mine, too.

  
  


What’s your favorite memory? I think mine is really reading your most recent letter. It has made me very happy and I don’t think I’ll be able to ever forget it. And that’s what makes a memory a good one, right?

Lots of love

Mina

  
  


July 12, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

I’m so glad you feel the same way. You can’t understand how glad. If you’re soaring, I’m flying above everything else. I’ll take you up with me, don’t worry. Together we shall be the highest.

That’s…. cheesy, right? But I’m perfectly sure you’re fine with it. So even if a small wave of cringe hits me, I’ll continue to say things like those. For your sake. You like that, right, best friend?

  
  


Stars… if I’m stars, you’re the sun, because everything is about you. You’re resting at night just to come back stronger at day, outshining everyone else.

Any memory of you is my favorite memory. Easily. Not because I haven’t had that many good ones, but the ones with you were magical, surreal because they were so beautiful it cannot have been real.

You might be writing these letters because you physically don’t exist and don’t want me to know. Who knows? It wouldn’t be a surprise, you know, given that you’re absolutely perfectly good. The best.

  
  


What’s your worst memory? I’m killing the mood here, I know. Still. It’s important to know.

I think all of them are the kids at my school. They’re bullies, and since I’m small and the weird art kid and alone, they like to pick on me. You should think I’m used to it, but it really does hurt just like in the beginning.

This sounds…. way worse than it is, so don’t worry. I mean, it is pretty bad, but don’t worry. Don’t hurt your pretty head over it, Myoui Mina.

What about you? If you don’t want to tell me, I understand. It’s a deeply personal question, after all.

Lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


July 21, 1964. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

I’m more than fine with it, believe me. Thank you so much. You shouldn’t put me before yourself, and I mean this for all situations, not only about saying cheesy things. You’re way to big of a person to be hidden behind anyone.

  
  


Please, don’t call me that…. the best, when you clearly are. The bestestest of them all.

I owe you a lot. You made me a better person these past months, and I owe you to be open. (You make me want to achieve good things. You make me want to be better. I owe you everything.)

Even if I didn’t, I would have told you. I want to get to know every little piece of you. I’ll take the bad stuff because that’s what you do in a good relationship, right? You take the flaws with the halos.

  
  


That’s… awful. I’m not a person to get angry, but- well. Let’s get you away from those people. I’ll do my very best to protect you. You don’t deserve this, any of this.

  
  


The worst time of my life was when my grandmother died. I’m pretty sure of that. I cried so much my eyes got dry and red and my nose ran all day during the funeral. It was horrible.

We weren’t that close, but it still felt like something was brutally taken away from me that way. A part of me that only she and I shared.

That’s something I regret. Not having spent more time with her. I think I have always been a coward.

Didn’t step up for someone or said something that I desperately wanted to say. I’ll change that. From now on, I’ll be brave.

  
  


Do you have anything you regret?

  
  


Lots of love

Mina

  
  


July 30, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

It’s almost scary, you know. You keep say things that have crossed my mind before. As if it’s nothing when it’s everything.

I also strive for changing myself to the better when I’m with you. It’s just the sheer effect you have on my soul, this soothing aura I’ve only got with you. See, you’re so amazing, with your skills and ideas and words, I want to be exactly like that. You’re my friend and my role model simultaneously, if that makes sense.

  
  


Thank you. Whenever I’m sad I’ll look at your kind words and try to be better. Someday I’ll be gone and they won’t matter anymore. I have to believe that, otherwise I’ll drown in sorrow.

  
  


I’m so sorry for your loss. Death terrifies me, to be honest with you, I’m sure since you and I are pretty much the same you feel like that, too.

I think it’s comforting that there’s heaven. Not in a religious sense, maybe, but something good for after death. A good place where you can stay and be happy.

  
  


I can relate to that. Being a coward. I couldn’t - can’t - stand up against neither the kids in school nor my parents. I don’t have access to my feelings.

  
  


Let’s be brave together, Myoui Mina. Sounds like a plan, doesn’t it?

  
Regretting…. I think I regret not saying my mind more often. That old friend of mine, I never told her how I truly felt, and now I’ll never get to. That will always haunt me. It shouldn’t, honestly. So I’ll do better. I promise! I think if I promise to you, I’ll hold it definitely. I wouldn’t want to let you down.

Anyone, but not you.

I’m starting from here. Not today, but with these lines.

  
  


What’s love to you, Myoui Mina?

I believe love is you.

  
  


It’s sending letters and kind words overseas, it’s honesty in all forms, whether loud or quiet, it’s being lovely and lovable.

I think I might have fallen in love with you, Mina- no, that’s not right, I definitely love you. That sounds a lot more vulnerable, but there’s a lot more truth to it, as well.

  
  


My heart is bursting as I write this. I think we have a chance. Don’t you? It may be weird, given that we haven’t even met each other - but we aren’t children anymore. We can do this. If you want to. If you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll respect that.

  
  


Please, Myoui Mina, accept my confession. Be mine.

  
  


August 10, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

I realize your letter is on its way as I speak, but, truly, I’m anxious. Anxious that you cannot find words to reject me. So I just want to say that if you have to, it’s alright. We can learn how to deal with it.

Please write me soon.

Chaeyoung

  
  


August 28, 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

It’s… almost been a whole month, and I’m scared. Seriously, Mina, write me anything so I know you’re at least receiving my letters.

  
  


October 1 1964. To: Kobe, Japan.

This will be my last letter to you as I’ve run out of both stationery and napkins and whatnot.

Please, Mina. Don’t throw it this away. I’m begging you.

Lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


Chaeyoung feels like a little too attached puppy that was set out on the street because of it. Her love, her heart is dragged through dirt with every passing day without hearing from Mina.

  
  


She tells herself she’s been too busy to answer on the first day.

Mina’s letter must have gotten lost on the third day.

Chaeyoung stays silent when the first week ends.

  
  


It’s hard, but acceptable. She believes. Sure, it sucks. Mina might never write her again, there’s no single chance she could recognize her on Japan‘s streets someday.

  
  


It sucks a lot.

  
  


Chaeyoung’s never been the type to be lonely - she’s more of a loner, anyway, has been on her own since she could remember -, but now, after having tasted what love, genuinely wanting someone can feel like, she would bet that she’s the loneliest person in the world.

  
  


All because of one mere person.

  
It’s not fair, she decides, when there’s no free space to draw on her walls and when she has to eat lunch in the school’s restroom and when Myoui Mina isn’t there for her.

  
  


It’s not fair because she loves Myoui Mina so much it hurts and she isn’t there.

  
  


“Have you heard already?”

Chaeyoung ducks her head when she hears two girls in her class come closer. She’s around the corner of the hallway, holding her lunch bag in her right hand. (Restroom’s closed.)

“What do you mean?”

She hears foot steps coming closer, then stopping.

“Japan. Apparently we invaded them or something.”

Chaeyoung’s heart drops.

“I thought South-Korea’s pisspoor.”

“Yeah, Russia did. They’re on our side, apparently.” She hears a laugh. “They killed so many. Around Kobe, I think. God, I hope this war is finally over.”

“I know, right? Can’t wait. Hey, what do you want to get for lunch?”

Chaeyoung gets up on her feet and runs past the startled girls, swallowing the tears that start to swell up in her eyes.

  
  


_Dead._

Mina’s dead and the only thing Chaeyoung was worried about was whether her dumb crush was required or not.

  
  


Mina has died and Chaeyoung couldn’t say goodbye.

  
  


Sure. Maybe she has survived. Maybe she didn’t even notice the invasion.

  
  


Chaeyoung doesn’t have lots of hope left.

  
  


“Why are you so down these days?”, her mother asks her when serving breakfast. Chaeyoung shrugs.

“Mina’s not writing back. I think she’s dead.”

Hilarious. Chaeyoung manages to say it casually when on the inside she wants to scream and cry and tear things up. (Mina would know how to calm her.)

Her mother clasps her heart. “Oh my, Chaeyoung, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

Chaeyoung gives her a weak smile. Her heart crumbles, deflates when she says, “it’s alright. Can you pass me the butter, please?”

  
  


She’s grieving but the world isn’t, and it’s such a disgusting dishonor to the gracious Myoui Mina to see flowers still blooming, the sun still shining, the beautiful things in life stay beautiful.

  
  


They should rot, Chaeyoung thinks and crumbles a dandelion she had picked up before in her hands.

There’s no beautiful things in life without Myoui Mina, anyway.

  
  


December 12, 1964.

Hi. It’s me, Chaeyoung.

I realize it’s been a while since I actually said this whole form thing - Dear Whatever, lots of Love whoever. I don’t remember when we abandoned that concept. I can’t read your letters right now because I might start crying again. Sorry for that.

I know I’m never going to send these letters, so I actually feel a bit bad about writing on your old envelopes that are meant for your letters. But I need something to put my mind into right now. Please forgive me for that.

  
  


I miss you. A hell lot. Sorry, language, I know. It’s just been so hard without you. You can’t imagine.

Maybe you can. Are you at a better place now? I hope so. This world sucks. And, like I said a thousand times before, you deserve everything. Don’t ever forget that.

  
  


Truly, I don’t know why I’m doing this. I guess I hope I’m getting closure of it, but it’s more likely to break me a bit further.

  
  


But it’s you. You’re worth to be broken for.

  
  


God, that’s awful, right? If you were here, you’d probably tell me to cut that. To be my own person and whatnot.

  
  


I’m sorry. That I couldn’t save you, I mean. I’m sorry for a lot of things.

I love you, Mina. Don’t ever forget that.

  
  


Lots of love

Chaeyoung

  
  


December 26, 1964.

It’s Chaeyoung. Again. Did you have a nice Christmas? Did you receive a lot of gifts?

How’s life where you are at the moment? Are you lonely? Maybe there’s people you can talk to. I don’t know, Marilyn Monroe or someone like that. Is she as pretty as she’s always portrayed in the magazine?

I think I ask too much questions, especially when you think about how I’m never getting answers to them. I just miss talking to you so much. I’m sorry.

  
  


January 1, 1965.

It’s now the new year. I’ve just realized that it’s been almost a year since we met, and so much has changed from that. It’s scary.

I think I have matured, what do you think? I was very bitter when we met, I don’t think I’ve ever told you that. In fact, I never wanted to get to know you. For some reason. I don’t remember. It doesn’t matter because you put a spell onto me. I’ve been falling for you almost a year now.

Maybe it’s time to say goodbye. This isn’t doing me any favor, and it’s good for you, either, I suppose.

So…. goodbye, Mina. Thank you for everything. I’ll have you in my heart, always.

  
  


I love you. Let’s meet again.

  
  


Yours truly

Chaeyoung

  
  


February 5, 1965. To: Seoul, South-Korea.

Dear Chaeyoung,

It has been some time, hasn’t it? I’m very sorry. For a lot of things. I don’t want to imagine what you must have thought happened to me. I haven’t held a pen to write something to you in months.

  
  


I missed you. God, I missed you like crazy.

  
  


I have to explain a few things to you. In fall we heard from insiders that Japan was going to get invaded soon, so we… hopped on a plane and moved to the USA.

  
  


Well, that wasn’t a lot of information, but I swear that’s all that has happened. I couldn’t write you because of the bureaucratic stuff - I even have a new name now. How does Shannon sound to you?

I’m so sorry, Chaeyoung, genuinely. You can’t imagine my sorrow as I’m writing this. I’ll make it up to you, i promise.

  
  


I’ve gotten your last letter, by the way. And I guess I have to answer the last question, don’t I?

  
  


Love is being with you, Son Chaeyoung. It truly is. Love has left me these past months when I wasn’t with you. It has screwed me up.

You are love, Chaeng, you are actually the best definition of love that exists. You’re the best. You’re good. Remember that. It’s true.

  
  


Lots of love

Mina (Shannon)

P.S.: I’m not actually sure I’ve said it like that, but… I love you. I really do. I love, love, love, love you, Son Chaeyoung, and I’ll never leave you again.

I’m yours truly.


End file.
